On Burning Bridges and Friendships
Somebody once told me, and I quote, “Never burn bridges because you don’t know which you’ll be needing to use later in life,” and this I later realized was from a personal perspective or experience.
I took the advice literally, and for a while, it seemed as though it was the right decision initially, as, with conventional humans, thoughts related to relationships are quite the same, sentimental, and until one decides to like the scriptures say, “come out from among them,” that is, stop conforming, it would be difficult to become the outlier.
Well, as stated earlier, I realized it was a personal perspective, and as with matters concerning destiny, some bridges must be burned! This is because not all relationships are meant to ease or take you on the path to achieving your destiny.
One of the indices you can adopt to measure your relationships with others in life is how much impact they’ve had on you, this can lean on the pendulum of negative and positive. Since we live in a generation where people are moved by what they see, their emotions, viewing life through these lenses, can be warped. This makes it difficult to judge, as some will misinterpret a very negative impact as positive because of what they see physically and are emotionally attached to, bearing sentiments in mind.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of great relationships, being a people person, or so I thought, but were they all good for my destiny? I’d say not, and so what I did is what I’m trying to preach in this article: I cut them off, boldly, damning all consequences, if there ever were any, and as you can see, I’m still alive, and breathing. I mean, I once had a “friend” tell me that if I thought I was the most serious person, just because I decided to start writing again, I hope he reads this. Or is it the other guy who called the business I started a waste of time? Trust me, I’ve had to swallow a lot of hot, venomous spices in the form of words from friends.
However, it is important to note that some of the people you consider friends are actually enemies of your destiny. You may think or assume that your relationship with them is beneficial, yeah, maybe materially, but hey, trust me, compared to what lies ahead on your path to fulfilling purpose and achieving destiny, you’re gaining nothing, and not only are you limiting yourself and your potential, but you’re shortchanging yourself, and this should break your heart, yes, really. So, if you made the bold decision to disconnect from them today, as I did, you’d quickly realize that you’ve been sleeping on yourself all this time, not being able to harness your potential that can be realized in solitude simply by having those kinds of friends around you.
I call these kinds of friends “destiny killers” or “dream killers.” This is a term coined through careful observation. Most people who have heard me speak on this subject are aware of how passionate I become, having been a recipient of these purpose-altering relationships myself. They are dream killers because they are always there to mock you when you want to start a business, read a book or your bible (which I encourage everyone to do on a daily basis), or take your spiritual life seriously; they’ll say things like, “Are you the holiest person?”
Oftentimes, your beliefs and theirs don’t align, but because you’ve attached sentiments to the relationships, you’re blindsided. Until you “come out from among them,” you’ll always doubt yourself, never attempting to do that which God has purposed for you to do, and thus, living beneath your full potential.
All through the Scriptures, you’ll see verses of admonition, inspired to bring to our awareness the understanding of how the company we keep, or, contextually put, the bridges we fail to burn, can make or mar us and can serve as a propellant or a repellant towards achieving purpose and living a life of fulfillment.
I’ll outline a few…
Blessed is the man who does not listen to ungodly advice, does not walk in the path of sinners, and does not sit in the seat of the scornful. — Psalms 1.1
Be not deceived; evil communication corrupts good manners. — 1 Corinthians 15:33
He who walks with wise men will be wise, but he who walks with fools will be destroyed. — Proverbs 13:33
As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenances of his friends. — Proverbs 27:17
A righteous person is cautious in his or her friendships, but the path of the wicked leads them astray. — Proverbs 12:26
It may interest you to know that God has you and the type of relationships you maintain in mind, as your friends are an extension of you and can influence you on either side of life’s path, thus the above scriptural references, and if we know anything about the bible, it is the “more sure word” — 2 Peter 1:19, and as it boldly states in Romans 15:4, “whatsoever has been written aforetime has been written for our learning.”
The purpose of this article is to make known the importance of relationships, knowing when to burn bridges, especially those that are not serving the purpose of your destiny, and also knowing who and what kind of relationships you want to keep around you, still for destiny’s sake, because the bridges you don’t burn may end up burning you, leaving you in regret.
I hope this triggers you to action and helps you make the decisions regarding your relationships that your future self will be thankful for, and I hope the bridges you burn lead you on a path to a glorious destiny.
